Get them curious.

Lately, the ability to start conversations with others demands exceptional skills.

Word skills. Not hooks. Not persuasive words. Not words promising "I can make your world better." 

Attraction words. Curiosity-piquing words. 

Not to set meetings; to start conversations about potential meetings. 

But if use words snarky marketers use -- or push on pain points -- others tune out. 

Because your message looks & sounds like everyone else's.

That's because you think like everyone else.

Being heard in a tuned out world

Repeated exposure to “I’m here to help you” being a lie creates a belief: 

Most offers of help from strangers aren’t to be trusted. They’ve experienced enough fake sincerity to know -- it’s not real.

They automatically think, “Your offer to enlighten/help me is a ploy to serve you.”

That’s why people respond, “Not interested” or "We're all set" -- even when they need or are open to help. This response is caused by a belief… built on experience. 

There is a better way. It requires changing your beliefs before helping others change theirs. 

You are the problem

There’s a good chance you are (accidentally) using words that trigger the other side. They see you as selfish and condescending -- when your intent is pure and helpful.

They feel pushed away -- rather than pulled closer.

Let's change this. Awareness is the key. The rest is practice -- making using pull words a habit.  

Be honest, open and willing to change how you communicate.

Learn how to

  • Overcome the active dis-interest of others
  • Earn attention by provoking & standing out
  • Get asked to go forward by sparking curiosity
  • Help people convince themselves, rather than try to convince
  • Earn respect by presenting as an equal
  • Present choice rather than calls-to-action
  • Foster introspection, avoid persuasion
  • Say less and get more attention

Find motivation to abandon

  • Persuasion, coercion & 'educating' as a means to convince
  • Premature elaboration, saying too much, too fast
  • Faking sincerity to earn trust
  • Condescending language which subverts
  • Everything comfortable which holds you back

Ready to sign the manifesto?

Get started by committing yourself to change.

Insights from our blog

September 23, 2025

Jeff Molander

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